Wednesday, October 6, 2010

It is well with my soul

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

-“It is well with my soul” by Horatio Spafford

This has been such a strange day for me. When I woke up, I did not want to face the day. But once I was up, I started talking to God. I re-read the article I mentioned yesterday and was reminded to start my day with Him before I get distracted by other things. I intentionally put on a worship album (I’m am LOVING both the new Kutless and Jeremy Camp ones). I knew that I had some unresolved issues with God (previously mentioned) and that confession time before the Lord’s Supper at the once a month mid-week worship service at my church (tonight) was going to come hard on me.

One of the songs that kept coming on was “It is well”. I had heard the story behind that song before and am reminded of it everytine I hear it. It is incredible. I thought about writing about it today and then we had such a great message at church that I felt inspired to write about that instead. Well, as I am learning often these days, sometimes God has other plans.

This was a tough day for everyone at work. It just seemed like it was one thing after another going wrong. The enemy always attacks when God is moving in our lives. We were doing a big thing challenging our friends to go to service tonight. It was amazing for those who went (or well at least for me). Then when I got back to my car at my parent’s I found out someone had tried to break into it. Although they did not manage to get in they did mess up the keyhole, the geniuses that make my car only put one keyhole so I couldn’t get into it to drive it home.

Normally I would be freaking out right about now. I mean, my life has been unusually hard for the past few months and even a couple days ago I would have felt like dealing with even one more thing is just too much. But right now (and I know it will fade quickly), I feel ok, I feel peace. It is well with my soul.

This is such a big deal for me and an incredible blessing from God. He has done so many amazing things for me today. I was able to conquer some of the despair I have been feeling lately  (which is what I have been praying for). He removed my “situation” for just a while so that I could focus on Him distraction free (which is what I have been praying for). He sent home one of my best friends for a few days and I was able to do something’s I wanted without feeling alone (which I have been praying for). He continues to lead me through the guidance of the wise members of my family (haha even tipsy people can preach the gospel). If you ask God to come find you, be assured, He will.

He even put provisions in place for me tonight with no car. My weeklong roomie decided to droop by my parent’s house (on a whim) and was able to take me home. She will be available to take me to work tomorrow on her way out of town. He literally took care of everything. Honestly I feel so at ease right now (although that person could totally came back and further vandalize my car tonight), all I prayed was that whatever happens is fixable. I honestly know right now that there is nothing I can do about it and I’m ok with it. I know God has it under control, even if that means there’s some more bad to go through before the good. If you don’t know me, you have no idea how much God has blessed me tonight. If you do know me, that last sentence probably blew you away.

At the risk of sounding dramatic, na├»ve, and/or full of myself, I know God has something huge in my future. I can feel it and many close to me have confided they feel that too. I’m not going to lie; I’m terrified of that. I have mentioned before, I don’t want the extraordinary; I’m fine with average. I can’t screw up average. There’s safety and comfort in average. But God has something bigger for me and those in my life than average. I keep thinking this time is about just getting to know me and God, but it’s about something much bigger. God is preparing me for something I will need a lot of strength for. I am terrified because one, I just really don’t feel like I have that in me and two, when you need strength it’s because the road is going to be hard.

Nonetheless, right now (and really every moment God walks with me) it is well with my soul.

From my favorite source, Wikipedia (don’t judge me), the story behind Horatio Spafford’s incredible hymn “It is well with my soul”:
 This hymn was written after several traumatic events in Spafford’s life. The first was the death of his only son in 1871 at the age of four, shortly followed by the great Chicago Fire which ruined him financially (he had been a successful lawyer). Then in 1873, he had planned to travel to Europe with his family on the SS Ville du Havre, but sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business concerning zoning problems following the Great Chicago Fire. While crossing the Atlantic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with a sailing ship, the Loch Earn, and all four of Spafford's daughters died. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone." Shortly afterwards, as Spafford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died.

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